There are many influences in our life that we mistakenly take for granted and don't understand completely but allow to control our daily activity through values and morals. That's when I learned of the "non-tangible: trust."
"Characteristics include"
-Belief of Character
-Follow Through/Confidence
-Rely on Another
-Do What's Right Over What is Convenient
-Reflections of Past Experience
-Honesty
-Expectations
-Willingness to Be Vulnerable
"Has someone ever mislead your trust and has now made it difficult to rely on another. And, if the answer is yes is it fair to the one that hadn't broke it to hold these barriers."
In all of us, we have different histories. Different pages to our book, different stains on each page, and certain pages that we consistency reference back to when in question... every thing we live by if we want to admit it or not has been based on these layers of lessons that we have learned along the way: both humbling and sacrificing, hurt and joy, love and lust.
How do we manage what is fair between actions of protection we do for ourselves, and openness to the fact that different people bring to the table different emotions and they are not always a reflection of the past that we have continuously have guarded by barbed wire.
In due time certain barriers we are willing to allow to decimate in order to take the risk in being "willing to be vulnerable," but often times we instinctively prepare for the worst case scenario in fear that the thing we may be willing to allow in our lives proves to disappoint.
This cycle although seems unfair; is life and trust even if our admittance to this fact is non-existant we are reflections of trust.
Think of the people we encounter on a daily basis. There are those who have the constant joy of life and continually sacrifice their own emotions hoping that the next person comes around is the next person to be able to rely on... then there are those of us who on the contrary belief, "trust until given a reason not to" flip the script and have to be proven that they are trust worthy prior to allowing to embed confidence that they will follow through...
As life progresses it seems with youthful eyes that things should be easier. We've had time to accumulate lessons that in turn should allow us to know future answers, but things become very much un-"SIM" like... there aren't emoticons above each of us telling each other the pure feelings and intent but we make decisions based on intuition and chemistry...
If anything human we often fumble and continue to prove to ourselves that trust is a needle in a haystack and that the only person we can trust is ourselves; which brings back the same question once asked...
"Has someone ever mislead your trust and has now made it difficult to rely on another. And, if the answer is yes is it fair to the one that hadn't broke it to hold these barriers." ... and in full admittance the answer is yes; and the rest time will only tell...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Chapter Six in Life
There are things in life that are intangible, materialistic, self-fuffilling and rewarding and those are what inevitably create drive and motivation.
What is it in each being that creates different motivational factors that put us all in different avenues in our adventures? What makes one thing so fulfilling to one so polar to another?
How do we direct our motivation to our long term goals?
"Have you ever wanted something so much that you felt that you would do anything to obtain it?" Intuitively a lists starts to formulate with past, present, and future values that have changed over a period of time, and in that we can wonder if we have been consistent and challenging to the goals that in the end will make us self-fuffiled, or what needs to happen in order for this to occur. This is exactly where motivation sets. What will allow us to want to do better not only for others, but ourselves to see a sense of accomplishments that continually often times are set aside waiting to get picked up at a later time. The answer is until we work towards what we want, the right time doesn't come and tap us on the shoulder handing us what we want.... we must direct ourselves based on our determination and drive.
In the midst of what we chose to put on our plate we tend to continue to set things that mean a lot to us on the end table waiting for the right time to seise. However, we can forget that not always will the thing we are waiting for still be there when we chose that the right time. People around us are so quick to grab opportunities, even if it's not what they want to feel the sense of accomplishment: reward.
The List: Personal
To refrain from other people taking the things that I have wanted in the past I started making lists. And, I don't mean the dry-erase board that is in constant flux throughout the month, week, or even day... but the one that I have recently started making at the beginning of the year. A detailed syllabus of what I have expected of myself and broken these 'tasks' in importance and one goal that leads to another.
Now, for myself... a list isn't a goal without set dates of when to have them done. Like homework, there are periods in which I expect myself to learn a lesson, or do community work, or able to read x amount of books that I have been meaning to read but been putting off... something from simple things for self-accomplishment towards lessons that are long term learning objectives that very well carry on to the next year. But, always "happiness and appreciation towards life" are the first words that I read... reminding myself, that life isn't a competition towards any one but myself: life is too short to take for granted all that it has to offer and that in time things do happen on it's own but we also have to work to earn these values...
Not every body is driven off a list, but the point being there is something in all of us that motivates us even when we feel the least willing to do what it is that needs to be done. Find it, start doing what we have been putting off, and have another goal/task ready. We all become more united when we work together, even if towards different goals together we can serve a purpose in guiding people towards happiness in different ways, and making differences one task at a time.
What is it in each being that creates different motivational factors that put us all in different avenues in our adventures? What makes one thing so fulfilling to one so polar to another?
How do we direct our motivation to our long term goals?
"Have you ever wanted something so much that you felt that you would do anything to obtain it?" Intuitively a lists starts to formulate with past, present, and future values that have changed over a period of time, and in that we can wonder if we have been consistent and challenging to the goals that in the end will make us self-fuffiled, or what needs to happen in order for this to occur. This is exactly where motivation sets. What will allow us to want to do better not only for others, but ourselves to see a sense of accomplishments that continually often times are set aside waiting to get picked up at a later time. The answer is until we work towards what we want, the right time doesn't come and tap us on the shoulder handing us what we want.... we must direct ourselves based on our determination and drive.
In the midst of what we chose to put on our plate we tend to continue to set things that mean a lot to us on the end table waiting for the right time to seise. However, we can forget that not always will the thing we are waiting for still be there when we chose that the right time. People around us are so quick to grab opportunities, even if it's not what they want to feel the sense of accomplishment: reward.
The List: Personal
To refrain from other people taking the things that I have wanted in the past I started making lists. And, I don't mean the dry-erase board that is in constant flux throughout the month, week, or even day... but the one that I have recently started making at the beginning of the year. A detailed syllabus of what I have expected of myself and broken these 'tasks' in importance and one goal that leads to another.
Now, for myself... a list isn't a goal without set dates of when to have them done. Like homework, there are periods in which I expect myself to learn a lesson, or do community work, or able to read x amount of books that I have been meaning to read but been putting off... something from simple things for self-accomplishment towards lessons that are long term learning objectives that very well carry on to the next year. But, always "happiness and appreciation towards life" are the first words that I read... reminding myself, that life isn't a competition towards any one but myself: life is too short to take for granted all that it has to offer and that in time things do happen on it's own but we also have to work to earn these values...
Not every body is driven off a list, but the point being there is something in all of us that motivates us even when we feel the least willing to do what it is that needs to be done. Find it, start doing what we have been putting off, and have another goal/task ready. We all become more united when we work together, even if towards different goals together we can serve a purpose in guiding people towards happiness in different ways, and making differences one task at a time.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
'Til Death Do Us Part
Loyalty and Honesty...something that we know so much about, yet we take so much advantage over.
One could say that the idea of doing these things is easier said than done, but how is this so? Again, are we natured by this as a defense mechanism or are we nurtured to continuously adapt to the lies and perceived notions that we know are wrong, but accommodate to in order for us to escape for the present; knowing that the truth always comes out in the end?
What is in a lie that allows us to feel so compelled to tell lies knowing that the truth will set us free? It is no wonder that we chose not to trust, and that we want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but at the end of the day we end alone and in shadows of the past that allowed us to feel hurt, sorrow, and pain.
"Love." What is it? Why is it that good things don't end unless they end badly. Why is it that once we have something worth fighting for, one that we learn to "love" that we feel the need to want to look elsewhere for more, something better, when it is not until we lose what we have that we realize the best cherished "precious" thing has been there/here all along.
The pages of my past tell me that there may be a thing called "love" but why enable the voices of the heart to the head when the realization of reality always tends to set in knowing that every good heart breaks, and every eye is made to cry. Why play all cards on the table knowing that now, divorce is an option people depend on and see as an option out to what was intended as eternal and perpetual?
Where are the sincere men. That don't look for a woman for their personal satisfactions and betterment, but rather the companionship, the bond, the well being a foreseeable longterm future. Where forever is "til death do us part" and where promises of loyalty doesn't consist of wondering eyes to the next soft eyes given. Where he would want to come home to talk about life, work, and goals; where a friendship is the base and in turn openness to understanding is an open door.
Why is that the older generation, the grandparents of my time, have little due faith to the future promises of "love." Why have we enabled the option of deceit and deception? The truth is because we as a society have taken advantage of things given both given and earned. Haven brought up prone to the idea that there will always be an advancement/ upgrade. We've adapted to the fundamental belief that because our parents have gotten a divorces and had once seen "love" in their eyes, that divorce can be accepted.
So, when asked why I have walls, why I have barriers of guarded gates that accompany the outer rim of my heart it is because I can't foresee myself allowing openness to the one thing that I have spent so long to protect. Why break guards to alter my ways of thinking. What has made it okay for a man/woman to step in to our lives and once comfortable feel like they need to change the person they "love." It just doesn't make sense. Wasn't the reason why emotions of infatuation formulated because it was that person's own set of behaviors/personality that served as the magnet?
Individually we serve a purpose, and to that eventually hope that there is a matching piece that we can harmonize with to share our emotions, so that this journey of life isn't alone. But, generations of changes have moved this idea of trust and loyalty to an acceptance of these contrary guidelines as what we deserve. But we must see that we deserve more than just accepting the hurt, judgement, changes and realize that until we find that matching piece that we will not settle because there is a lifetime to live, and if any one else is like me I rather wait a lifetime for a gem than a moment for a dud. We can not be replacements but rather permanent beings to those we see ourselves for the future, but although alone it is hard enough to see ourselves waiting, the hardest part is waiting to expect another to feel the same way.
#Where Are You- J Roman
One could say that the idea of doing these things is easier said than done, but how is this so? Again, are we natured by this as a defense mechanism or are we nurtured to continuously adapt to the lies and perceived notions that we know are wrong, but accommodate to in order for us to escape for the present; knowing that the truth always comes out in the end?
What is in a lie that allows us to feel so compelled to tell lies knowing that the truth will set us free? It is no wonder that we chose not to trust, and that we want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but at the end of the day we end alone and in shadows of the past that allowed us to feel hurt, sorrow, and pain.
"Love." What is it? Why is it that good things don't end unless they end badly. Why is it that once we have something worth fighting for, one that we learn to "love" that we feel the need to want to look elsewhere for more, something better, when it is not until we lose what we have that we realize the best cherished "precious" thing has been there/here all along.
The pages of my past tell me that there may be a thing called "love" but why enable the voices of the heart to the head when the realization of reality always tends to set in knowing that every good heart breaks, and every eye is made to cry. Why play all cards on the table knowing that now, divorce is an option people depend on and see as an option out to what was intended as eternal and perpetual?
Where are the sincere men. That don't look for a woman for their personal satisfactions and betterment, but rather the companionship, the bond, the well being a foreseeable longterm future. Where forever is "til death do us part" and where promises of loyalty doesn't consist of wondering eyes to the next soft eyes given. Where he would want to come home to talk about life, work, and goals; where a friendship is the base and in turn openness to understanding is an open door.
Why is that the older generation, the grandparents of my time, have little due faith to the future promises of "love." Why have we enabled the option of deceit and deception? The truth is because we as a society have taken advantage of things given both given and earned. Haven brought up prone to the idea that there will always be an advancement/ upgrade. We've adapted to the fundamental belief that because our parents have gotten a divorces and had once seen "love" in their eyes, that divorce can be accepted.
So, when asked why I have walls, why I have barriers of guarded gates that accompany the outer rim of my heart it is because I can't foresee myself allowing openness to the one thing that I have spent so long to protect. Why break guards to alter my ways of thinking. What has made it okay for a man/woman to step in to our lives and once comfortable feel like they need to change the person they "love." It just doesn't make sense. Wasn't the reason why emotions of infatuation formulated because it was that person's own set of behaviors/personality that served as the magnet?
Individually we serve a purpose, and to that eventually hope that there is a matching piece that we can harmonize with to share our emotions, so that this journey of life isn't alone. But, generations of changes have moved this idea of trust and loyalty to an acceptance of these contrary guidelines as what we deserve. But we must see that we deserve more than just accepting the hurt, judgement, changes and realize that until we find that matching piece that we will not settle because there is a lifetime to live, and if any one else is like me I rather wait a lifetime for a gem than a moment for a dud. We can not be replacements but rather permanent beings to those we see ourselves for the future, but although alone it is hard enough to see ourselves waiting, the hardest part is waiting to expect another to feel the same way.
#Where Are You- J Roman
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